Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Help! He is crossing the line?

I work with A LOT of people. I have meetings in and out of my organization. I work with men and women usually 30-65 ( I am 26). My job requires that I have great interpersonal skills, community development, and customer service. I am often “representing” my organization/employer. I am professional with everyone!



My dilemma… for the last three or four weeks a man that works for another agency has been getting too friendly. I have been making sure he keeps his distance. Does not cross the line. However, he has become more and more aggressive. Last week the put his hand on my shoulders and squeezed (not cool). Today he said I “looked REAL nice” and looked me up and down.



I want to keep it cool. It is important that I keep a good working relationship with him, but I do not want to feel uncomfortable any longer and I do not want to make the problem worse…

I would absolutely tell your supervisor, before it spirals out of control. I'm 26 as well, and I think a lot of men think they can take advantage of me because of may age. If you're feeling uncomfortable, let someone know! I had to do it once at a job, I was very nervous about it, I thought I would be putting my job on the line-not at all...employers want to be aware of these kinds of things...the last thing they want is to be in the middle of a sexual harrassment suit. He has no right to look you up and down like that. I would go right over his head to your supervisor. If you say something to him, he might turn around and start bad mouthing you, saying you asked for it or something...don't worry, things will get better! Good luck.
try to begin a conversation with him & in da middle of it mention that u r just work buddys if he doesnt get it then u tell it to him in his favce or may jus alternate 2 da old story hat u already hav a b.f
it sounds like you are up against something called sexual harassment



he may use power, career and all kinds of things but it boils down to one thing in the end with someone like that



if you have made it abundantly clear that you wish to keep your relationship purely professional then perhaps it is time that you make it plain where other people can hear and back you up - it is unlikely you have been the first person to have been treated this way by this person but they tend to back off (like most bullies do) when they have met their match.
You have to draw the line with him, my wife would shove a hand out at full arms reach very stiff very firm, and then continue with the conversation, every time he tries run the stiff arm it works, when he goes for the hug dodge it continue eye contact but dodge it, it says I am interested in what you are saying just not you and smile while you do it it says I am in control.
Mention it to him in a nice way if he does it again that you feel uncomftable with his actions. If he persists then speak to someone higher up. He should not be allowed to harrass you in or out of the work place.
simply tell him that you are not interested in any kind of relationship right now or even go as far as to tell him that he is getting to friendly if you dont then he could really get more touchy feely with you and that may start rumors anyways just let him no up front how you feel and im sure that it will reslove the problem

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